We hear them all the time. These are things our big sisters, aunts and mothers drum into our heads while growing up. Now all grown up, spiritual mentors keep warning us about them in our fellowships, church/mosque services, etc. But all my almost thirty something years on earth has shown me a lot of realities.
Disclaimer: This article is in no way whatsoever against waiting till marriage for sex. It only separates FANTASY from FACTS. If you want to remain a virgin till marriage please do. If you want to stop having sex till marriage, please do.
1. A Man Will Love You More After Marriage/ A Man Will Marry You Only If He Loves You:
Ha! Mbanu! A man (even women) doesn't love his wife more after marriage. Why? Marriage is an eye opener, it is after marriage that you know EXACTLY who you have married. If it turns out you married the right person for you, then the love grows, but if it turns out to be one chance, yawaaa don gas be that oooo!. Do not marry a man that doesn't love you. This is because the bitter truth is that Many men do not marry for love. Many marry because they need a helper. Because their parents are on their necks, for traditional titles/more respect in the society, even for business purposes. So don't get all mushy and swept off your feet just yet just because one guy just proposed to you.
Always remember this, getting married is a destination. Keeping your marriage is a whole new never ending journey. Do not confuse the two of them.
2. A Man Will Respect/Love You More When You Make Him Chase You Longer:
This one is a very popular myth my mum was always singing into our ears *rolls eyes*. I have this cousin who had this toaster that was on her case for about five years, we were all "aww", "eh ya this guy really means it" etc. But immediately they had sex, his behavior towards her changed. I have heard of relationships that started with sex on the first date that led to marriage.
See, my sisters, a man that will love you will love you. When a man really enjoys having sex/making out with you, you are already half way there. You just need to work on other areas such as his likes, interests, etc. I'm not saying you should open leg like remote-controlled TV. Just be yourself and allow your intuition and body chemistry guide and guard you. Don't set any time, let things flow naturally. What will be must be.
Shikena!
3. A Man Will Marry You If You Refuse Sex Till Marriage:
Like seriously! Na only you waka come? Na only you get pussy? A man doesn't marry just because he wants sex! He can get sex anywhere. You hear me so? Anywhere! It doesn't have to be from you! Let's even look at it this way, fine you hold out till marriage, after finally getting it after marriage what next? Is it your pussy that will sustain the marriage? You must be a learner! I know some unhappily married women who married as virgins. I know some bad girls who married men most virgins dream of.
Like I said earlier, A man that wants to marry you will marry you.
4. If A Man Loves You He Won't Want To Have Sex Till Marriage:
Ha! You obviously do not know jack about men! See, as a general rule, men love sex. In fact, when a man hits on you, he wants sex as part of whatever package he wants from you. Whether na one night stand, side dish, contract, or marriage. If he doesn't, chances are that something is seriously wrong with him. Babe shine your eyes, if your intending husband has never had an ATTENTION while both of you are alone, Ha! lips sealed!
Even if you do not want to have sex with him until marriage, make sure that chemistry is there. Make sure you see a sign of hot and steamy nights to come after marriage. Thank me later.
Sex is not love, but love has a lot to do with sex. You can have sex with someone without loving that person, but you cannot love someone without wanting to have sex. The difference is that while sex is demanding, love is patient. A man that loves you will wait till the right moment to do it and will still love and respect you afterwards, a man that loves you will make love to you, he will make it as good as possible for you. But a man in lust will want it now...........and he will chase you until he gets it and when he gets it. Kpele o!
5. Men Only Like Good Girls/Good Girls Get The Best Men/Good Girls Marry First:
This one doesn't need long talk, all my mature single sisters in church can testify to this. See, men like good girls that have fire underneath them. So if you are a good boring girl whose life revolves around church-fellowship-work-home. Ah! My sister, even the brothers-in-the lord these days will call you a total bore!
I'm not saying you should start clubbing. Mba o! Just saying you should spice up your social life a lil bit more. Go out and meet more people, don't be afraid of looking and feeling sexy. You definitely can be sexy without being trashy.
Like I always keep saying, a man that will love you will love you. The man that has made up his mind to marry you will marry you, even if his mother threatens to commit suicide. Trust me, a man that is emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for marriage does not have to date you for up to a month before he knows that he's going to put a ring on it. Men, I mean men are very practical and they know what they want. Adam knew Eve was from his ribs the very second he set eyes on her. It's great to have a good character, you will definitely get more responsible suitors with your inner beauty. But a man that will love that "bitch" will love her regardless.
See, marriage is all about fate, when your own time is right, it will happen. Marriage is about finding that person who wants to spend the rest of his life with you just the way you are. So don't feel like life is unfair when Pamela, the same girl you've been preaching to marries before you. Every one of us has different time tables in life. And always remember, It's not about when you marry but how Well you marry.
Oya, lets go there....
#FeelingExcited!
By:
Odigbo Okagbue
Hamburg,Germany
Hamburg,Germany
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment